Friday, March 24, 2006

MAKE SOME BLANK NOISE



"Blank- that which is not allowed meaning, form or articulation. Noise- that which heightens, builds itself. " (-Blank Noise Project : Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore.)



...this is my testimonial towards the Blank Noise cause.

Outrage is good. Feel my anger. Watch how it radiates off me. Feed from it. When it started it was an overwhelming sense of horror, and a numbing sort of pain. At the filth associated with my body. A woman's body. Yes, I am a feminist. A feminist in my own right. My body is my own private domain. When you stare, lech, leer, grab, grope, gesticulate or speak your obscene mind, you violate it. You abuse my sacred space. Why shouldn't I fight you? Tell me... What are you looking at?


A loud voice as I step out the house- Where do you think you are you going?
I'll answer the question though. I'll answer it here and now. Because that is what I can do. I can look you in the eye and tell you that there is nothing wrong with me. Nothing wrong with the thousands of other women who walk the city streets everyday just like me.


"You're going out now? It's past 6 in the evening? And where is your dupatta?"

"Take it off. The lipstick. It makes you look like a slut."

"It doesn't suit you one bit. Wear something else..
Alright fine! Do what you want! Go out looking like that. Get yourself into trouble.. Your generation is about irrational rebellion anyway!"

It is not MY skirt that is too short, or MY clothes that are transparent. They are fine. I dress to express. Keep your hands to yourself. Look where you ought to be looking. My hair looks better when it falls loosely in waves around me, I like my lipstick dark. The kaajal and earrings are so I smile, when I look at myself in a mirror. Don't stifle my body. Don't stifle my person. If you can be out after dusk, then so can I. I work the same job as you, I work the same hours. I do it all, and I do it better.


"I'm not looking. I'm not looking down there, or anywhere. I can though. I have two eyes don't I? I can look at whatever I want, for however long I care."

"It was an accident! Are you crazy? Why are you screaming?"

"Sorry." (grins)

Enough. To the passing cyclist who thinks he can put his hand out and grab whatever he wants, to the pedestrian who thinks its ok to brush up against us, to the auto-wallas who adjust their rear-view mirrors when we climb into their vehicles, to the conductor who "helps us" on and off the bus, to every anonymous passenger on the subway who grinds his crotch into our backs... To all of you, ENOUGH. If this is who you are, then there is something wrong with you, not me. Something terribly wrong. And that means we need to correct it. Fix it.


"DON'T. Don't look at them. Look down, KEEP YOUR EYES DOWN. Just walk past them. Ignore them."

"Stop crying. Don't make such an issue of it for god's sake!

"SHUT UP. Don't talk back. Just keep your mouth shut and walk. Faster!"

I know that I'm expected to put up with everything you do. It is the stereotype a "woman" must twist to fit - she must yield. I know I must keep my mouth shut, when you whistle at me, howl at my legs, or scream obscenities as I walk past you. I am to keep my eyes downcast always. Confrontation is what makes an experience "dirty". Until then, it is a secret. "An occurrence". Something I can cloak by simply not acknowledging it. Well I refuse. I refuse to be silent any longer. I may not be your mother, or your sister, but I am a citizen of this state who has a right to be out on the streets. Sometimes I like to watch traffic go by, take in the sights, the sounds, the smell of my surroundings. I like losing myself in my environment. Let me celebrate my existance in peace. I am not trying to "look available". I am not available. If I have to, I will do more than scream or cry out. I can, and will cut u; do you bodily harm. Watch me. It is about time I did.


"Oh .. For 'that' I keep a can of pepper spray in my bag."

"It's alright. Not all that bad really.. Whenever I'm walking, I carry my knapsack in front of me. They leave me in peace."

"You wear sarees an awful lot these days you know. It's all I ever see you in. You're so lucky it suits you."

Yes, this is my body. It is different from yours. I am warm and soft and curvy. I have breasts. I am beautiful. I will not be ashamed of how I look, simply because you are attracted to me. Your lust for my body is not a criterion that decides whether I'm a 'good' or 'bad' girl. You have no business judging me. Don't set me modicums of 'decency'. Eve-teasing is more than just a joke, or a prank. It shapes my lifestyle. It makes me rethink who I am, where I go, what I wear, how I sit, stand, talk, walk in my own city. At a subconscious level, it works to repress my sexuality, and impedes on my freedom to be all I want to be. I am neither scared nor ashamed nor frustrated anymore. I am angry. You got a problem with that precious?



P.S - Thanks Koyel, for inspiring me enough to write this in the first place. This one's for you.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you.

Anonymous said...

hi the article is awesome..

Anonymous said...

hey actually had someone send this to me and then came across your other writings, well just thought I'd give my personal opinion don't know how much it matters but still what the hell..... I liked the attempt, it had a freshness and rawness to it but I don't know it just seemed extremely cliched to me. Probably because I have come across alot of similar writings. Also I did not quite get the idea behind the whole "Blank Noise" movement. What is it's aim, what is it trying to do and also isn't it too silent a movement?
Anyway that's all. Hope to get some answers. catchya later maybe.

buttermuffin said...

Hi "anonymous".. though I probably do know you, if you've already come across this piece before :)
It's perfectly alright that you find the article cliched and you've seen plenty of similar writing - I think that just proves my point. That there really are A LOT of women who are traumatised from physical and sexual harrassment. And ALL of them, obviously have the same or similar things to say. In fact the women who've written testimonials towards the cause, are just those who've decided to speak out, and are educated,in a socio-economic position to do so. How overwhelming would the actual number of victims then be? something to think about..
The blank noise movement is NOT a silent movement. The blogathon is merely a part of "Blank Noise". It also has a clothes campaign, public polling, constitutional backup and a definite plan of action. It works on the streets of Mumbai, Delhi and Bangalore. I'm going to attache a link to the main site so that you can make some interesting revelations for yourself.
http://www.blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com/
Maybe you'll feel like doing some writing yourself? If not becoming a part of the project in a still bigger fashion. :D

Manasa. K .Kumar said...

i loved it

fiddlesticks said...

bit of a jolt to see my name there, but anyway, i loved it too -
mans

Anonymous said...

Brilliant. Very inspirational. I completely agree.